Katie Malinski, LCSWBook Review: When I Feel Sad
“When I Feel Sad,” by Cornelia Maude Spelman, is a great book that I frequently recommend to parents. It’s a book for children, ages 2-9 or so… There are only a few words on each page, and the book starts with descriptions of times that kids feel sad:
“Sometimes I feel sad. I feel sad when someone won’t let me play.”
After several pages of examples of age-appropriate sad situations for kids, the main character (a guinea pig) describes what sad feels like. It’s a wonderful explanation for a child:
“Sad is a cloudy, tired feeling. Nothing seems fun when I feel sad.”
Then main character talks to a loved one, which starts her on the road to feeling better.
“When I feel sad, there are ways to feel better. I can tell someone I’m sad.”
She plays with friends, feels even better, and the book closes with:
“The sad feeling goes away and I feel good again. When I’m sad, I know I won’t stay sad!”
While the plot isn’t quite as entertaining as “Knuffle Bunny” or “Where the Wild Things Are,” it’s still an excellent book to have on any child’s shelf. Teaching our children about emotions is a very important gift we can give them, and this book is a useful aid. Click below to buy it on Amazon.
An insider’s guide to getting the most out of your child’s therapy
Therapy is good stuff. Kids usually LOVE going, and parents love the progress they see. You want your kid to get what they need and their health (physical and mental) is a top priority. But, money doesn’t grow on trees and you want to make sure that you’re maximizing your time, money and energy.
So, here are a few tips from a therapist on how to get the most out of your child’s therapy.
- Have a “grown-ups only” meeting with your child’s therapist every month or two.
- The more you and the therapist talk, the better you’ll both be able to help the child.
- Have both parents participate/attend.
- Ask for homework. (Homework is like getting an extra session per week, for free!)
- Do the homework. ;^)
- Show up early. Use the 5 minutes you’re sitting there to talk with your kid about your week, your goals, your feelings, the homework. It helps transition to “therapy-time.” Plus, Murphy’s law guarantees that
the one time you show up late for a session, will be the time when something deep, meaningful, and difficult will come up. Those few minutes make a difference!
And my best tip:
Participate in family therapy. Children are deeply affected by their parents. I tell every parent I work with two things:
- The single most effective thing that you can do to get your child to change is to let them see you changing.
- You are probably the most motivated ‘client.’ Children, whether due to age or inexperience with the world or something else, don’t usually know that their world/emotions/interactions/relationships can be changed, and that talking about these things can help them change.
There are many more (whole books have been written, in fact) but this is short list will get us started!
