Feel, Felt, Found
A mom recently shared with me a handy mnemonic that reminds you what to do when your child is having a strong emotional reaction. The process comes from the same philosophies that I follow and teach, but improves upon [...]
The kids who need the most love will ask for it in the most unloving ways
One of the first things I tell most parents that I work with is that behavior is a communication, and that understanding the message in a child’s behavior is incredibly helpful for changing those behaviors. To put it another [...]
Wallow with them!
credit: J. Sibiga Photography I love the word wallow. It's fun to say, plus it reminds me of two totally separate things: self-pity, and pigs in mud. I don’t know that I’ve ever heard the phrase used [...]
Are you going to let her get away with that?
True personal story: When my oldest daughter was about 8 months old, she got over-stimulated and grabbed an adult relative hard enough to cause pain. We pulled her off, apologized, went into another room and helped her calm down. About 20 minutes later, I apologized for my daughter's behavior again to my relative. Her response surprised me. She said: "Are you going to let her get away with that? Shouldn't you give her a little swat on the butt?"
How to deal with a puberty-crazed teen
A reader asks: "How do you deal with a tween or teen that you know is acting badly because of puberty mood-swings? For that matter, how do you even talk to a puberty-crazed teen? They usually don't make any sense." So how do you deal with a puberty-crazed teen? Very, very carefully. ;^) Well, I’m joking there, but it’s a good serious answer, too. Here are some thoughts to keep in mind when thinking about or interacting with your teenager or pre-teen:
Divorce: When parents start dating again
As parents move through the divorce process, they will naturally grow apart and be increasingly less able to influence the other. For this reason, it's very important to set up mutual expectations about how to parent around new romantic relationships from the beginning. This article offers questions to ask yourself and your ex.
Talking with your kids about the Connecticut school shooting
This tragedy is so horrible I almost can't bear it. My heart hurts, and I know yours does, too. And yet, we still have to keep going, because we are our children's first protector, explainer and comforter. So take a [...]
10 ways to help your child develop a positive self-concept
A mom asked me on Facebook the other day for recommendations on how to foster a positive self-concept for her kids. I thought it was such a great question that I'm sharing my answer here.
If not punishment, then what?
I don’t spend much time advising parents on how to punish more effectively. In fact, I tend to tell parents that I am not a big fan of punishment at all. A parent rightfully asked me the other day: “Well then, if not punishment, what DO we do?
Helping kids resolve conflicts
Conflicts can erupt between siblings or friends easily—about who sits where, whose turn was longest, who started it, or a million other reasons. Parents often wonder what role they should play in these conflicts, and there’s a wide range of [...]
