Knowing what you know now, what topics related to parenting would
you suggest that a couple discuss either before getting engaged, or
married, or deciding to have kids? (I’m imagining this post as a
conversation-I’ll go first, and you respond with your ideas, too!)
So here’s a few of my topic ideas:
- Do you want to have children?! If so, approximately how many? (This assumes that neither person has children already, btw.)
- What sort of timing would you each prefer for the first, second, etc kids?
- Will one parent stay home? Which one?
- How do you feel about your own parents?
- How do you feel about the way you were parented?
- Do you want to parent similarly, somewhat differently, or very differently from the way that you were reared?
- Discuss your probable future parenting philosophy. For example,
some people subscribe to a parenting style as described in books on
Attachment Parenting or perhaps in BabyWise.
- How do you think your lives will change with the addition of a child?
- What relationship do you each have to traditional gender roles? How might that change with the addition of a child?
So, what else?! Leave a comment and tell me what parenting-related
topics you think people should talk about as part of their early
relationship. I’m excited to see what advice you’d give!
Update: I was recently shown this website, which has a great–long!–list of questions to ask before marriage.