Mother-Daughter Puberty & Communication Workshop Information
(Information for organizers & attendees of private workshops)
This is a workshop for mothers and their daughters, ages 9-11, addressing 2 topics: communication and puberty. This workshop has some games, some learning, some discussion, some hands-on activities, and more. It’s fun. The girls enjoy themselves, get more and more comfortable as the workshop progresses, and pretty much always say at the end: “That was way better than I thought it would be.” High praise from a pre-teen for a puberty workshop, don’t you think?
Nuts & Bolts info:
- This workshop is 2 hours, 45 minutes long
- Moms attend the workshop with their daughters and are together at all times. It’s a workshop with plenty of humor and a casual, relaxed vibe: I know the topic is uncomfortable for many and I try to help with that! The first hour isn’t about puberty at all–just communication–in part to help the girls warm up and partly because communication is hard & gets harder in adolescence.
- Minimum group size is 8 girls. Maximum is ~12 girls
- Price is $100 per daughter.
- A non-refundable deposit of $25 is required to hold the date. The remaining fee (in full) must be received 2 weeks prior to the workshop date. This is paid in *one* check. (IE, attendees pay the organizer, who writes one big check to me.)
- No refunds can be given, for any reason.
- This workshop is held at your location. The home simply needs to have a room that is large enough to comfortably seat everyone in a circle.
- Travel charge: $0 if it is 0-5 miles from my office. Locations that are 6-10 miles from my office will incur additional $2/per daughter travel charge. 11-15 miles is $5 additional. Mileage is based on the distance via Google Maps from 1704 W Koenig Lane, 78756.
- Siblings… depends on the group’s overall age & each child’s development. It’s not ideal to have 1 8 year old in a group of 6 10 year olds… or vice versa.
If you would like more information on my workshops, or to schedule a workshop,
please email me through the contact page.
This workshop gets rave reviews. :^)
Girls say things like:
- It was fun and informative. It was better than I thought.
- Now I am not afraid of going through puberty.
- I thought it was interesting and I really liked it. I am really glad I came.
Moms say things like:
- Thank you! I wish I had this education when I was young.
- The workshop really opened the door to better communication! I think it went great. Loved it!
- I love your matter-of-fact style that I can mimic.
Here’s a long and detailed description of the workshop:
We’ll start right on time (so please arrive 5-10 minutes early).
With private groups, I like to speak privately and briefly with the moms before we bring the girls in. I really want y’all to feel as comfortable as possible, and it helps me to get an idea of everyone’s comfort level with the topic before we get started–and whether there is anything I can do to help you feel more comfortable. (Unfortunately, this isn’t really possible with public workshops.)
First up– a game to break the ice–something silly that gets you out of your seat. We’ll also use this activity to begin thinking and discussion good communication.
Next is a communication activity. Mamas & daughters will pair up together and do a drawing activity using GOOD communication… we hope! It’s a fun activity, although sometimes a little challenging. We discuss ‘good communication’ before, during, and after, and how to have important conversations go more smoothly. (this usually touches on things like listening, eye contact, asking questions, checking in, etc.) Sometimes it goes well, sometimes it gets frustrating… just like life! We’ll talk that, and talk about managing feelings of frustration.
Then, I will give everyone a short, medically accurate and age-appropriate lesson on what puberty and menstruation really are.. role-modeling a matter-of-fact style of talking about our bodies.
Then we will split into breakout groups, where moms and daughters will practice talking about puberty in a group with at least 1-2 other M-D pairs. (this is a change from previous workshops where everyone split up) In small groups, daughters and mothers can review the presented information, and ask questions in a more private setting. Then, daughters will interview their mothers, using provided questions. For example:
- Did you start to develop earlier, later, or about the same time as your friends?
- How did you feel about that?
- What should I do when I start my period for the first time? What if I’m at school?
Then we experiment with the pads/tampons. It’s fun (and sometimes silly or awkward) to pass the samples around. Some girls have had plenty of experience/exposure to them, but many haven’t. (I like for this part to be a surprise. If you don’t mind the surprise element, please don’t tell your daughter.)
Lastly, everyone will get a worksheet with ideas for creating your own ‘coming of age ritual.’ I’ll talk briefly about what that is, why it’s important, etc, and then mamas & daughters will make a plan to discuss this together later.
If we have time (doesn’t always happen,) we will do a formal Q & A at the end (as well as as I go along.) I have everyone write 1 question down on a piece of paper, and I’ll read all of the questions & do my best to answer them at the end… that way if anyone has an “embarrassing” question, it can be asked anonymously. Plus, then the Mamas can slip in a question that they think their kid needs to hear an answer to–especially from someone other than them.
Things to know:
- This workshop is designed to give your daughters a little info about puberty etc. My primary goal is to get them (and you!) more comfortable talking about these topics. This is important, because you don’t want your daughters thinking that they can only talk about puberty, their bodies, sex, etc with some professional and on rare occasions (!) You want them to realize that they’ve got an expert right there in the house. Research shows us that it’s the relationship between parent and child that protects girls & helps them make healthy choices (NOT just knowing the ‘facts.’)
- The pace at which this workshop moves is designed to be best for the girls–it’s oriented to them & their attention span. Adults can sit quietly and take in a lot of info– but not teens! They do SO much better when they are actively engaged and NOT sitting quietly, so I minimize that.
- I want the girls to realize that every woman is an ‘expert’ on this. (“Expert” in that they probably have lots of experience with it, if nothing else.) It bears repeating: we don’t want your daughters thinking that they can only talk about puberty/menstruation with a professional… we want them to talk about it with you! :^)
- Please remember that puberty is the beginning of the body’s sexual maturation process. It is impossible to comprehensively educate girls about puberty without talking about reproduction… which includes sex. I don’t set out to talk about sex in this workshop, but it is a very closely related topic. I believe that the best person for your daughter to learn about sex from is you! So please consider that the time is now, if you haven’t already begun talking about sex with your daughter.
- Sex comes up about 30% of the time. (girls ask questions!) With all workshops, my default answer is to say that “Talking about where babies come from is an important lesson that most parents want to teach their kids themselves. It’s great that you are asking–but I’d bet that your mom would like to answer that herself!” With private workshops, if you prefer for me to actually give the girls a simple, real answer, please tell me so–I’d love to do that. That said, I cannot predict what the girls (or other moms) will say themselves. There is likely to be a very wide range of comfort levels, values, vocabularies, and existing knowledge in the group.
- If your daughter (or you!) are significantly uncomfortable at any point in this workshop, please let me know. I want everyone to have fun, to grow a little closer to their mother(daughter), practice talking about this tough topic, and learn a little info… you’ll see that there’s no upset or unhappiness in that plan… so please talk to me if something is wrong.
- A tampon and/or pad, IF you have them handy. No need to purchase if you don’t.
- Clipboard/stiff board if you have one (to write on)
- Pen for each of you
If you would like more information on my workshops, or to schedule a workshop,
please contact me through the form on the contact page. Thanks!