Behavior is Communication–Video
The Arc of the Tantrum video has been hugely popular, so I've made another one. This one is on a topic I speak about in various ways all the time: Behavior is Communication. Click below for 2 minutes and 38 seconds' worth of coaching on understanding your child's misbehavior. (and see directly below for a rudimentary transcript.) Behavior is Communication, notes from [...]
Feel, Felt, Found
A mom recently shared with me a handy mnemonic that reminds you what to do when your child is having a strong emotional reaction. The process comes from the same philosophies that I follow and teach, but improves upon them by being simple and easy to remember! We know the most important thing to do when our child is upset [...]
The kids who need the most love will ask for it in the most unloving ways
I snapped a picture of this quote on the wall at the Magellan International School the other day, and posted it on Facebook. A week or so later, it had been shared by 68 people, and viewed by nearly 7000. Obviously, this quote resonates for many of us. One of the first things I tell most parents that I work [...]
Grief and loss resources on this blog
There are several articles, and one video, on this blog created specifically to help parents whose children are (or may soon be) dealing with grief and loss. They are collected below for easy reading. Children and Funerals Helping Children Grieve Book recs on grief/loss for kids Talking with children about tragedies in the news Video: Talking with young children about [...]
Wallow with them!
I love the word wallow. It's fun to say, plus it reminds me of two totally separate things: self-pity, and pigs in mud. I don’t know that I’ve ever heard the phrase used without one of those two things attached! Except, I often use the phrase at work in a way that is counter to its usual definition and negative [...]
How to deal with a puberty-crazed teen
A reader asks: "How do you deal with a tween or teen that you know is acting badly because of puberty mood-swings? For that matter, how do you even talk to a puberty-crazed teen? They usually don't make any sense." So how do you deal with a puberty-crazed teen? Very, very carefully. ;^) Well, I’m joking there, but it’s a good serious answer, too. Here are some thoughts to keep in mind when thinking about or interacting with your teenager or pre-teen:
You say you want a revolution…
When people come to see me, it’s generally because they are seeking change. Something isn’t quite the way they want it to be: they want to grow, or help their child grow. That desired change?—it begins in the brain. Scientists used to think that brains stopped growing after a certain age, but thankfully we now know better. Modern neuroscience has [...]
When should we tell the kids that we are getting a divorce?
Once parents are certain that they are separating or getting a divorce, they begin to think through when/what/how they should tell their children. Regarding WHEN to tell children about a divorce or separation, here are some tips. A few concrete suggestions: Avoid major holidays and birthdays, etc. Consider the child's school or extracurricular schedule (major tests or events, etc.) Don't [...]
Children and Funerals
# You are the best person to talk with your child about what has happened. You don't need a professional to break bad news--your child would rather hear it from his parents. (although YOU might feel better if YOU talk to someone first--practicing what you're going to say is a great idea.) # Don't hide the truth, and don't delay too long before telling your child pertinent details. # Regarding funerals, there are a lot of good reasons to allow your child to attend the funeral, including:
More about the plane crash
Austin-American Statesman writer Tara Trower adds to the conversation about talking with your children about Austin's plane crash. Read her blog post here.