emotional intelligence

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Feel, Felt, Found

A mom recently shared with me a handy mnemonic that reminds you what to do when your child is having a strong emotional reaction. The process comes from the same philosophies that I follow and teach, but improves upon them by being simple and easy to remember! We know the most important thing to do when our child is upset [...]

Blog, Parenting|

Wallow with them!

I love the word wallow.  It's fun to say, plus it reminds me of two totally separate things: self-pity, and pigs in mud.  I don’t know that I’ve ever heard the phrase used without one of those two things attached! Except, I often use the phrase at work in a way that is counter to its usual definition and negative [...]

Blog, Parenting, Therapy|

Are you going to let her get away with that?

True personal story: When my oldest daughter was about 8 months old, she got over-stimulated and grabbed an adult relative hard enough to cause pain. We pulled her off, apologized, went into another room and helped her calm down. About 20 minutes later, I apologized for my daughter's behavior again to my relative. Her response surprised me. She said: "Are you going to let her get away with that? Shouldn't you give her a little swat on the butt?"

Blog, Parenting, Stories|

You say you want a revolution…

When people come to see me, it’s generally because they are seeking change.  Something isn’t quite the way they want it to be: they want to grow, or help their child grow.  That desired change?—it begins in the brain. Scientists used to think that brains stopped growing after a certain age, but thankfully we now know better.  Modern neuroscience has [...]

Coping Skills for Kids, part 1

A coping skill is any trick, technique, or habit that you use to "deal with" something. For example, when you feel anxious, you might say to yourself: "I'm okay, I can handle this, it's going to be okay." That's called "positive self-talk.

Blog, Parenting|

Book Review: When I Feel Sad

"When I Feel Sad," by Cornelia Maude Spelman, is a great book that I frequently recommend to parents. It's a book for children, ages 2-9 or so... There are only a few words on each page, and the book starts with descriptions of times that kids feel sad: "Sometimes I feel sad. I feel sad when someone won't let me play."

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