This information comes to us courtesy of Dr. D Robitalle, MD, who was kind enough to share it with me this past year after attending one of my “Simplify the Season” workshops.
She mailed me a handout that she makes available to her patients, particularly around the holidays. The information seems to me to be directed primarily at single adults with substance abusers in their family of origin (not uncommon) but is applicable in many ways to any family gathering. My three favorite tips from the handout:
1. Don’t argue with a drunk or unrecovered anything. You can always leave and take a walk, drive, or whatever you need to do to take care of your inner child. [Katie says: or your ACTUAL child!] When you return, everyone will pretend that nothing happened anyway. [haha!]
2. You are separate from your family and your desires are important. It’s OK to take care of yourself and your needs. [Katie adds: Your children’s needs are also important–perhaps more so than the needs/demands of the adult generation–so don’t let Grandma or Aunt Mabel guilt/shame/whatever you in to minimizing your kids’ needs.]
3. Confront unrealistic expectations. [Katie adds: be very aware of your expectations, and those of your children & other loved ones. Examine them and make conscious choices about those that you will CHOOSE to try to meet! Be picky, and then be sure to communicate clearly with those affected.]
May your holidays be peaceful and loving~
Ask 10 moms what you get when you mix their kids with a big dose of sugar, and I bet you’ll get 10 responses on the same theme: hyperactivity. It’s a parenting theory on par with gravity!
So imagine my surprise when I read this article in the British Medical Journal, which says that sugar does NOT cause hyperactivity in children. To say it another way: sugar didn’t cause behavioral changes in kids. Rather, the studies they cite instead found that it is the parents whose behavior changed. They found that when they told a parent that their child was eating sugar, the parent would then begin to rate their child as more hyperactive (regardless of the actual sugar content of the food.) Oops.
Anyway, Happy Holidays, I’m off to go bake cookies. ;^)
(Hat tip to the Working Parents Blog for this info.)
I originally posted this last year, but it’s such good info, I wanted to post it again this year…
In their book Unplug the Christmas Machine, authors Jo Robinson and Jean Staeheli say that kids want the following 4 things for Christmas:
- A relaxed and loving time with their family.
- Realistic expectations about gifts
- An evenly paced holiday season
- Reliable family traditions
Notice it doesn’t say a ‘Wii’, or a trampoline, or Thomas the Tank Engine, or or or… Sure, they do want the specific toys they are asking for, but deep down they also want and need the 4 items above even more.