teens

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Behavior is Communication–Video

The Arc of the Tantrum video has been hugely popular, so I've made another one.  This one is on a topic I speak about in various ways all the time: Behavior is Communication.  Click below for 2 minutes and 38 seconds' worth of coaching on understanding your child's misbehavior.  (and see directly below for a rudimentary transcript.) Behavior is Communication, notes from [...]

Are you going to let her get away with that?

True personal story: When my oldest daughter was about 8 months old, she got over-stimulated and grabbed an adult relative hard enough to cause pain. We pulled her off, apologized, went into another room and helped her calm down. About 20 minutes later, I apologized for my daughter's behavior again to my relative. Her response surprised me. She said: "Are you going to let her get away with that? Shouldn't you give her a little swat on the butt?"

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How to deal with a puberty-crazed teen

A reader asks: "How do you deal with a tween or teen that you know is acting badly because of puberty mood-swings? For that matter, how do you even talk to a puberty-crazed teen? They usually don't make any sense." So how do you deal with a puberty-crazed teen? Very, very carefully. ;^) Well, I’m joking there, but it’s a good serious answer, too. Here are some thoughts to keep in mind when thinking about or interacting with your teenager or pre-teen:

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Q: Should my child be allowed to have a TV/computer in their room?

Question:  Should my child be allowed to have a TV/computer in their room?Answer:I advise against it.  Three thoughts regarding why:  It limits or reduces personal communication and interaction with family members.  Sometimes quality time is plain-ole quantity time!P*rnography on the internet.  Yes, you've got parental controls installed.  Yes, you don't think your child knows about it/is interested in it yet.  [...]

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“Raising Cain”, the prefrontal cortex, and pretend violence…

I was recently watching a wonderful PBS documentary based on the book "Raising Cain," and was struck by a particular comment.  The narrator quotes current brain research that finds that the pre-frontal cortex, the part of the brain that controls impulse control, isn't fully developed at age 18.  (More on the pre-frontal cortex here.)This is such a good message for [...]

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