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Behavior is Communication–Video

The Arc of the Tantrum video has been hugely popular, so I've made another one.  This one is on a topic I speak about in various ways all the time: Behavior is Communication.  Click below for 2 minutes and 38 seconds' worth of coaching on understanding your child's misbehavior.  (and see directly below for a rudimentary transcript.) Behavior is Communication, notes from [...]

Feel, Felt, Found

A mom recently shared with me a handy mnemonic that reminds you what to do when your child is having a strong emotional reaction. The process comes from the same philosophies that I follow and teach, but improves upon them by being simple and easy to remember! We know the most important thing to do when our child is upset [...]

Blog, Parenting|

Wallow with them!

I love the word wallow.  It's fun to say, plus it reminds me of two totally separate things: self-pity, and pigs in mud.  I don’t know that I’ve ever heard the phrase used without one of those two things attached! Except, I often use the phrase at work in a way that is counter to its usual definition and negative [...]

Blog, Parenting, Therapy|

Are you going to let her get away with that?

True personal story: When my oldest daughter was about 8 months old, she got over-stimulated and grabbed an adult relative hard enough to cause pain. We pulled her off, apologized, went into another room and helped her calm down. About 20 minutes later, I apologized for my daughter's behavior again to my relative. Her response surprised me. She said: "Are you going to let her get away with that? Shouldn't you give her a little swat on the butt?"

Blog, Parenting, Stories|

How to deal with a puberty-crazed teen

A reader asks: "How do you deal with a tween or teen that you know is acting badly because of puberty mood-swings? For that matter, how do you even talk to a puberty-crazed teen? They usually don't make any sense." So how do you deal with a puberty-crazed teen? Very, very carefully. ;^) Well, I’m joking there, but it’s a good serious answer, too. Here are some thoughts to keep in mind when thinking about or interacting with your teenager or pre-teen:

Blog, Parenting|

You say you want a revolution…

When people come to see me, it’s generally because they are seeking change.  Something isn’t quite the way they want it to be: they want to grow, or help their child grow.  That desired change?—it begins in the brain. Scientists used to think that brains stopped growing after a certain age, but thankfully we now know better.  Modern neuroscience has [...]

When should we tell the kids that we are getting a divorce?

Once parents are certain that they are separating or getting a divorce, they begin to think through when/what/how they should tell their children.  Regarding WHEN to tell children about a divorce or separation, here are some tips. A few concrete suggestions: Avoid major holidays and birthdays, etc. Consider the child's school or extracurricular schedule (major tests or events, etc.) Don't [...]

Blog, Divorce, Parenting|

Video: How to talk with young children about death

As part of my work with SWParents.org, we produced a video for parents on how to talk to your kids about death.  I also share a few basic tips for understanding and responding to the various ways that children can express grief.  Please take a look if you think this topic might be helpful to you or a loved one.  [...]

Blog, Parenting|
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