Divorce-related resources on this blog
There are several articles, a video, and a webinar on this blog, created specifically to help parents through the divorce process. They are collected below for easy access. How to tell the kids When to tell the kids 7 Things kids want parents to remember Book recommendations about divorce for kids Book recommendations about divorce for parents When parents start [...]
Feel, Felt, Found
A mom recently shared with me a handy mnemonic that reminds you what to do when your child is having a strong emotional reaction. The process comes from the same philosophies that I follow and teach, but improves upon them by being simple and easy to remember! We know the most important thing to do when our child is upset [...]
The kids who need the most love will ask for it in the most unloving ways
I snapped a picture of this quote on the wall at the Magellan International School the other day, and posted it on Facebook. A week or so later, it had been shared by 68 people, and viewed by nearly 7000. Obviously, this quote resonates for many of us. One of the first things I tell most parents that I work [...]
Grief and loss resources on this blog
There are several articles, and one video, on this blog created specifically to help parents whose children are (or may soon be) dealing with grief and loss. They are collected below for easy reading. Children and Funerals Helping Children Grieve Book recs on grief/loss for kids Talking with children about tragedies in the news Video: Talking with young children about [...]
Wallow with them!
I love the word wallow. It's fun to say, plus it reminds me of two totally separate things: self-pity, and pigs in mud. I don’t know that I’ve ever heard the phrase used without one of those two things attached! Except, I often use the phrase at work in a way that is counter to its usual definition and negative [...]
Are you going to let her get away with that?
True personal story: When my oldest daughter was about 8 months old, she got over-stimulated and grabbed an adult relative hard enough to cause pain. We pulled her off, apologized, went into another room and helped her calm down. About 20 minutes later, I apologized for my daughter's behavior again to my relative. Her response surprised me. She said: "Are you going to let her get away with that? Shouldn't you give her a little swat on the butt?"
Talking with your kids about the Connecticut school shooting
This tragedy is so horrible I almost can't bear it. My heart hurts, and I know yours does, too. And yet, we still have to keep going, because we are our children's first protector, explainer and comforter. So take a deep breath, send some love to those families, yourself and your kids, and then you can begin to help your [...]
You say you want a revolution…
When people come to see me, it’s generally because they are seeking change. Something isn’t quite the way they want it to be: they want to grow, or help their child grow. That desired change?—it begins in the brain. Scientists used to think that brains stopped growing after a certain age, but thankfully we now know better. Modern neuroscience has [...]
10 ways to help your child develop a positive self-concept
A mom asked me on Facebook the other day for recommendations on how to foster a positive self-concept for her kids. I thought it was such a great question that I'm sharing my answer here.
When should we tell the kids that we are getting a divorce?
Once parents are certain that they are separating or getting a divorce, they begin to think through when/what/how they should tell their children. Regarding WHEN to tell children about a divorce or separation, here are some tips. A few concrete suggestions: Avoid major holidays and birthdays, etc. Consider the child's school or extracurricular schedule (major tests or events, etc.) Don't [...]