Helping kids resolve conflicts
Conflicts can erupt between siblings or friends easily—about who sits where, whose turn was longest, who started it, or a million other reasons. Parents often wonder what role they should play in these conflicts, and there’s a wide range of opinions—from “Stay out of it and let kids resolve things for themselves,” to “Step in and be the referee.” But [...]
Looking for an Austin family for reality show/parent coaching course
Calling all Austin families! Would you like to improve your children’s behavior? Stop arguing with your spouse about discipline? Improve your parent/child relationship? Help get your kids to go to bed on time and eat their veggies? Katie and Kate can help! Kate Raidt, author of The Million-Dollar Parent, and Katie Malinski, licensed clinical social worker and parenting coach, are [...]
How can I get my child to nap? (Q & A)
Here's another question I received from a friend, reprinted with her permission. Our daughter is 2.5. She naps really well at school, but only gets a nap about 40% of the time on weekends. At home, she hummssssss with energy, and she doesn't calm down. We have tried: Recreating the day care environment with nap mat, music and dark curtain [...]
What do you wish you had done instead?
A friend asked recently for an example of a natural consequence, so I shared one that had occurred just that morning in my own life. My older daughter, dawdling endlessly, was just about to make us late for school. As the absolute last minute approached, I told my daughter that if she wasn’t able to walk out the door [...]
A Room of One’s Own
Virginia Woolf was on the required reading list when I was in college, and the piece I remember best was the famous "A Room of One's Own," in which she argues that a woman must have a room of her own (with lock and key!) and her own money in order to write fiction. Lately, I'm been thinking about how [...]
Grownups Say the Darndest Things (Q & A)
I recently received the following question via email from a friend. With her permission, I am sharing it and my answer. My 4 year old daughter was born without all of her fingers. It causes her no issues in daily life. However, she does get a lot of comments, questions and stares. We are working with her on ways to answer questions, ask people to stop staring, etc...but it doesn't seem to be sticking. She prefers just to give people the "evil eye" and make a face at them if she feels uncomfortable. Should we consider therapy for this?
Give me that water bottle right now!
A father told me a story recently of a family outing that had a rough ending. Loading up in the car after a fun bike ride, the dad asked his older daughter to share her water bottle with her baby sister who was crying and asking for water. Older daughter refused, several times, with rudeness, ignoring, and defiance. It quickly became [...]
Talking with kids about the local wildfires
Yesterday, I spoke with Tara Trower of the Austin American Statesman for an article she was writing about talking with kids about the local wildfires. I smiled a little when I read the article, because the other therapist she spoke with (Seanna Crosbie of ACGC) apparently said the same exact things I did. Reassuring, actually :^). Read the article here.
Hold the Bowl
When I was in graduate school to become a therapist, I remember one of my professors using a metaphor to illustrate what a therapist does for her clients. She encouraged us to imagine that we held a large, uncovered bowl in our laps, and that our job was to hold that bowl while our clients put their fears, upsets, anger, etc in the bowl. Many years after grad school, I realized that parenting requires the exact same ability. Only now, it's waaaay harder.
Obedience Parenting
I often talk with clients about how, a generation or more ago, one of the most popular markers of "good parenting," and therefore "good children," was obedience. An obedient child=a good child=a good parent. Nowadays, far fewer of the parents I know place primary emphasis on obedience. I think this is healthier, and I recently read something that further strengthened my resolve. [...]
