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What mountain biking and children have in common

When mountain biking, you learn not to look too long at the obstacles in your path. It seems counter-intuitive, but it’s true. 

Here’s how it goes the first zillion times before you learn this lesson:

You spot a rock.  You look intently at the rock because it is big and bad and a little scary.  You look at it, thinking about how you Really, Really don’t want to hit that rock.  You try to steer away.  You can’t.  You hit the rock and fall over.  Ouch.

Okay, but how is this like children?

Because they do it, too.  They do it in life, with their own behaviors and with yours, too. 

They create the outcome they fear.   WE create the outcome we fear.  Or, to put it another way: we create the outcome with our fear. 

So instead of looking at the rock (or expecting the unwanted behavior, or fearing the broken plate, or the rude comment), think about, focus on, expect the positive outcome.  Ignore the (small) negatives.   Focus on the positives.   And enjoy the ride.  :^)

Snow Day!

Austin has a small chance of snow later this week. As any good southern city should, things completely shut down around here when white stuff–in any quantity–lands on the ground. Sometimes this is fun and sweet and a bit like a mini-vacation… but if you think you aren’t likely to feel that way… start your engines now.

  • Go to the library and check out a couple of their kid DVDs,
  • Stock up on easy-to-prepare meals and healthy easy snacks
  • Plan a craft
  • Figure out an indoor physical game (wrestling, lava pit, mini trampoline)
  • Find your stash of chocolate, bottle of wine, or calgon–(whatever your thing is!)

If you work outside the home, also consider clearing at least part of your day… so that if schools really do close, you won’t feel as worried about what you are missing on top of everything else.

Good luck!

Time to start dating!

Quick thought for the day: schedule an appointment with your kid for this weekend… a playdate for just the two of you.  If you have more than one kid, make multiple appointments, so each one is just for you and one kid at a time.  Children need regular doses of our undivided attention (which means you and I also have to leave the smartphone turned off, too), and one of the best ways to spend that time & attention is through play.

So: go biking together, hike a local trail, play your child’s favorite board game, toss the football, make cookies, or wrestle.  Have fun, get connected, be silly, play, and enjoy that beautiful, precious kid of yours.  It will do you both good!

(Today’s post inspired by my preparations for the upcoming workshop: Your Parenting Toolkit.  There’s still a couple of spots if you’re interested!  Email me before the weekend and I’ll send you a coupon code so you can still register for the earlybird price.)

Back in the Saddle

My computer died in October (boo!), and while I did get a replacement that same month, some technological to-do items got really, really back-burnered.  I finally dug up the login page for this blog, and have sorted through the mounds of sp*m comments (delete, delete, delete) and am able again to post.  So, if anyone is still reading, thank you and stay tuned!  :^)

Dealing with Bullies

School started back this week in Austin.  Backpacks, new clothes, anxiety, excitement… it’s everywhere right now. 

Sadly, going back to school means dealing with bullies for many kids.  The American Academy of Pediatrics estimates that 50% of all kids will deal with bullying in their lifetime, and at least 10% will struggle with it on a regular basis.

World of Psychology has a great post on bullying today.  Click here to read about the signs of bullying, what to do, and where to go for more help and information.

Trim the tree…

…and the gift list and
the card list,
the menu,
the social calendar,
the travel itinerary…

Do you feel stressed during the holidays? Well, no wonder. Our jobs,
our lives, our families still require our full participation in
November and December. And yet, we generally find a way to add in an
amount of work equivalent to a part-time job on top of everything!

The best way to get the holiday you want is to focus on your values
and priorities. Chances are, not all of your holiday activities are
aligned with your values. Identify one action that neither matches your
values nor brings you joy. Start there.

Involve the kids-both by telling them that you want to shape the
holidays to better match your family’s values, and also by having them
help decide how to do that. Remind yourself that change is an
incremental process, and then… make a commitment to change! Reduce,
alternate, get creative, or just say no. I bet you’ll be glad you did
it. Let me know how it goes!

Note: I teach a class called “Simplify the Season” during the
holiday/Christmas season. It’s a fun, interactive workshop that helps
to identify your true values and priorities for the holiday season-and
helps you figure out how to celebrate in a way that is in line with
those values. For more information, visit the website at