You say you want a revolution…
When people come to see me, it’s generally because they are seeking change. Something isn’t quite the way they want it to be: they want to grow, or help their child grow. That desired change?—it begins in the brain. Scientists used to think that brains stopped growing after a certain age, but thankfully we now know better. Modern neuroscience has [...]
Can we trust coaches with our kids?
I have the pleasure of writing for SWParents.org occasionally. One of my latest articles has basic information that is important, and so potentially helpful in protecting kids, that although I don't usually cross-post, I will today. This is a topic that pretty much every one of us would rather not think about. But please do spend at least a minute [...]
10 ways to help your child develop a positive self-concept
A mom asked me on Facebook the other day for recommendations on how to foster a positive self-concept for her kids. I thought it was such a great question that I'm sharing my answer here.
Divorce: How to tell your kids
Parents come to see me for this specific question more than almost any other single question. Although divorce is a very challenging time for families, the silver lining is that there are many choices that parents can make to protect and take care of their children during this time. Below I share 5 of the more important things to do/think [...]
Divorce: 7 things kids want their parents to remember
Separation and divorce are hard on everyone involved. At a time when parents are themselves taxed, their child's needs increase, and it is difficult not to get bogged down in the stress. Here are 7 reminders from a child's perspective about what is important to them. I want to be loyal, at some level, to both parents. It’s incredibly hard [...]
Video: How to talk with young children about death
As part of my work with SWParents.org, we produced a video for parents on how to talk to your kids about death. I also share a few basic tips for understanding and responding to the various ways that children can express grief. Please take a look if you think this topic might be helpful to you or a loved one. [...]
If not punishment, then what?
I don’t spend much time advising parents on how to punish more effectively. In fact, I tend to tell parents that I am not a big fan of punishment at all. A parent rightfully asked me the other day: “Well then, if not punishment, what DO we do?
The Big Bowl
When I was in graduate school to become a therapist, I remember one of my professors using a metaphor to illustrate what a therapist does for her clients. She encouraged us to imagine that we held a large, uncovered bowl in our laps, and that our job was to hold that bowl while our clients put their fears, upsets, anger, etc in the bowl. Many years after grad school, I realized that parenting requires the exact same ability. Only now, it's waaaay harder.
When we see SuperMom go sailing by, perfectly put together, with her perfect children behaving perfectly... we sometimes judge ourselves, and come up lacking. But this isn't fair.
Surviving the holidays with your family ;^)
Surviving the Holidays with your family... ;^)